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Up to a point: The U.S. government's minimum wage is $430 million per hour

Posted March 21st, 2014 @ 10:34am by P. J. O'Rourke

Our Busy Government at Work…

The 2014 federal budget is $3.77 trillion.  There are 8,765 hours in a year.  The federal government works 24/7—for $430,119,795 an hour. Well above proposed new minimum wage.  What’s government doing for the money?

The Department of the Interior Is Lifting the Ban Against BP Bidding on New Gulf of Mexico Off-Shore Drilling Sites…

Because BP did such a good job at its old site.

The Federal Energy Regulatory Commission Is Giving Helpful Espionage Hints…

According to The Wall Street Journal a study by FERC concludes, “The U.S. could suffer a coast-to-coast blackout if saboteurs knocked out just nine of the country’s 55,000 electric-transmission substations on a scorching summer day.”

“The Wall Street Journal isn’t publishing the list of 30 critical substations,” says the Wall Street Journal, patriotically.

Go to for Goggle Street Views.

U.S. Senators Are Playing Mr. and Mrs. Potatohead…

Susan Collins (R-ME) and Mark Udall (D-CO) protested the Women, Infants, and Children (WIC) program’s decision not to give white potatoes as supplemental food to children at nutritional risk and low-income pregnant and breast-feeding women.  Senator Collins said potatoes are “cholesterol-free, fat-free, and sodium-free, and can be served in countless healthy ways.”  And they can, if WIC won’t give you butter or salt either.

U.S. Senators Are Refusing To Go to Sleep…

Twenty-six Democrats calling themselves the “Climate Caucus” spoke nonstop on the Senate floor from 6:30 p.m. Monday, March 10 until 9 a.m. Tuesday, March 11.  Insert your own carbon emissions joke.

The White House Office of Management and Budget…

Will miss next month’s deadline for installing secure operating systems on federal government computers. Hundreds of thousands of government computers—including many on classified military and diplomatic networks—will be left with obsolete Windows XP software that’s highly vulnerable to hackers.  OMB had only six years advance warning.

The Environmental Protection Agency…

Is set to issue new rules, under the federal Clean Water Act, giving EPA authority over ditches that don’t have water in them.

Because…  Because if the ditches did have water in them, it would be dirty ditch water.

The Obama Administration…

Which, to quote the President, is “committed to creating an unprecedented level of openness in government,” has refused an unprecedented 8,496 Freedom of Information Act requests.  Among these were six made to the Department of Agriculture, two to the EPA and one to the National Park Service, all denied on grounds of national security.  The Park Service FOIA redaction possibly concerned picnic baskets, possibly involved Jellystone Park and possibly was in response to a request submitted by a bear named Yogi.

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