Dear Steve and Shirley,
I'm a 32-year-old single woman, and I’m afraid that I’ll be a certified loner all my life because I get bored with men quickly. Maybe I’m attracted to the wrong kind of men. I'm writing to you because it's cheaper than therapy.
I was dating a guy who pursued me for months. I liked him a lot, but I played it cool so I could be pursued. After he sent me a few dozen roses, I agreed to go out with him. Our first few dates were great, but he isn’t big on opening doors or pulling out my chair when we dine out. He smelled good and was nicely groomed, but he wore sneakers with everything. He also started talking about sex too soon and made jokes about my curves that I found distasteful.
I guess you could say I'm a hopeless romantic, and I've watched too many black-and-white movies, so I expect to have a love story similar to those I see on screen. I get bored quickly and start to lose interest in men when things don't go as I had imagined.
I tried online dating, and recently I met a man who checked all of the boxes. However, he has a six-year-old child, and he has sole custody. Despite that, he is the sweetest girl dad. Everything was going great, and his child even joined us on a few dates. I got baby fever, and he could see it. He mentioned that he could envision us having children together.
I prayed that I wouldn't lose interest or get bored with him, but I did. Right after we made love for the first time, I found it boring, and he seemed unsure of what he was doing. He said he was nervous, but he’s in his forties—so he should know better. I'm still with him, yet I remain bored. He senses something is wrong, but I don't want to be completely honest about it. I realize now that I'm a big part of the problem.
So, how do I fix myself? Why do I get bored so quickly?