Dear Steve and Shirley,
I'm in my mid-thirties and have been married for a year. My husband was great at first, but lately, I'm seeing a side of him that’s really been bothering me.
When we first met, I was in a relationship and my boyfriend had cheated on me. In an act of revenge, I slept with the guy I am now married to. He knew what I was doing and was okay with it as long as he could sleep with me. We grew close, and eventually, he got a divorce and I broke up with my boyfriend so we could be together.
After a few months of living together, he spent the night with his ex-wife. He said he thought I would understand since I had cheated on my ex. That struck a chord with me, but what could I say? I had cheated too. Fast forward a few years, we had a major argument, and I left his house for two months.
During the breakup, I got involved with the barber who cuts my son's hair. I never expected anyone to find out, but the stylist started gossiping and the rumor spread. Eventually, I got back with my husband, and we married a year ago. Just days after the wedding, he confronted me about the affair with the barber. I admitted that I did it because I never wanted to lie to him. I felt good being honest, but now my husband seems to always respond with a tit-for-tat mentality, and I'm afraid he might seek revenge.
Last week, he stayed out all night and then told me he was with his ex-wife. I’m beginning to worry that this marriage won’t last if we continue playing these games. How can we remain faithful and stop the cycle of tit-for-tat behavior?